Friday, November 9, 2007

Running.....

I've been running for some time now...........in fact, sometime has become a long time...........a long time leading to nowhere..........nowhere which leaves me with no finish line that I'll reach in no time............I have no time to waste, but it seems that I've wasted the only thing in life that I have no control over..........Over is what the games I usually play are...............Over is what the race is...............I've been running for some time now.............in fact, some time has become a long time.............a long time has left me out of breath.............and sometimes I wonder if I'll ever find time.............you see.......the real problem is that I don't know how to........or when to..........or why I want to find this........when I was younger, these things meant nothing to me, and time was mine..........mine to play with, and enjoy...........I've been running for some time now...........in fact, some time has become a long time............a long time has left me wanting...........no needing...........someone.........someone that will ultimately help stop running around and chasing the one thing that I cannot control, and let me sit down and utter the words "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, and current to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference".........someone who will not only help me understand these words, but help me understand myself, help me express feelings that I have problems expressing, and showing me that women mean more, and do more than "bop their heads" and dutt wine, and that there is someone there to hold me down when the world comes crashing down and holds my hand and says.........baby, slow down...........life isn't a 200 meter dash, it's a marathon...........pace yourself.............I've been running for some time now..........In fact, some time has become a long time...........and sometimes,I wonder when will it be my time...............when will I give my heart to another in hopes of a future together, but it ends in such a painful way that I lose so much trust in all women that when they say blue I hear green, and when they say up, I hear down and when eventhough I may not admit it, but my lack of trust in another leaves me paronoid and self conscious to the poin that I lose everything...............damn...........Y'all don't understand............I've been running for some time now...............In fact, some time has become a long time............and sometimes..............whew

No comments: